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SOCIAL WORKERS AND LEGAL AGENTS HAVE THE RESPONSIBILITY
To explore their own attitudes about adoption and to be trained in the psychology of the adoptee, the adoptive parents, and the birth parents.
- To chose adoptive parents who are able to understand the special needs of the adopted child.
- To keep legal fees reasonable, and to itemize costs.
- To have legal counsel representing the child at the time of the adoption procedures.
- To consider the needs of all parties while writing the adoption contract.
- To place twins, and if possible, siblings in the same family.
- To get full medical and social history from both birth parents, as well as their authentic names and addresses.
- To give all information in writing to the adoptive parents.
- To give updated material to all parties on request.
- To treat adoptees who contact them with courtesy, consideration, and honesty.
- To act as an intermediary for any party requesting this service.
- To get a full medical and social history on children of inter-country adoptions.
- To lobby for controls on black market adoptions.
- To lobby in legislatures for open adoption records.
- To help medical schools and schools of social work to devise courses on the adoption syndrome, and the psychological complexity of the adoption circle.
SOCIAL WORKERS AND LEGAL AGENTS HAVE THE RIGHT
- To arrange legal adoptions.
- To received reasonable fees for their professional services.
- To expect legislators to clear up the present ambiguities in the adoption statutes.
BIRTH PARENTS HAVE THE RIGHT
- To privacy from the public, but not from their own child.
- To put their own requirements into an adoption contract.
- To waive their option of confidentiality at the time of adoption; or at any time afterward.
- To explore the concept of open adoption, which would entail meeting with the adoptive parents before relinquishment, and working our a necessary agreement.
- To up-dated information about the child's development while it is growing up in the adoptive family.
- To special consideration from the legal system should they petition to meet their child before he or she reaches legal age.
- To determine the time and place for meeting with the child who has searched for them in such a way that will preserve their privacy.
- To contact a child who has reached adulthood.
BIRTH PARENTS HAVE THE RESPONSIBILITY
- To put their child's needs before their own.
- To give their child to licensed agencies or certified agents rather then black marketeers.
- To supply the agency or legal go-between with a complete medical and social history and to update this over the years.
- To balance their right to information about the child with respect for the adoptive family.
- To find some way to contact the adoptive parents of a minor child, either directly or through an intermediary, rather than approaching the child.
- To understand adoptive parents' feelings of threat at initial contact, and to find a suitable intermediary who can act as a go-between in the negotiations.
- To meet with their child if they are contacted, and to reveal any relevant information, especially the identity of the other birth parent, siblings, or half-siblings.
- To lobby in their provincial legislature for open records.
ADOPTIVE PARENTS HAVE THE RIGHT
- To be regarded by the child and society as the "real" parents.
- To raise the child according to their social and religious background, even when it differs from that of the birth family.
- To expect the birth parents to respect the privacy and integrity of their family unit, and to make contact through them or an intermediary rather than through a minor child.
- To full information about their child at the time of adoption, and updated information on the birth parents over the years.
ADOPTIVE PARENTS HAVE THE RESPONSIBILITY
- To tell the child that he or she is adopted at the time that seems most natural for them, and to keep the communication channels open after that.
- To obtain all the information they can about the child's background at the time of adoption, and to relay it to the child when he is able to understand it.
- To have empathy for the child's need for knowledge about his heritage, and to help him integrate it into his growing sense of self.
- To avoid inflicting feelings of indebtedness or guilt on the child.
- To give the social worker or legal agent updated material on the child's development should the birth parents request it.
- To accept updated information on the birth parents for the time when the child will express a need for it.
- To acknowledge the possibility that the child may need to search for, and meet the birth parents.
- To have some kind of communication with a birth parent who requests it, either directly or through and intermediary.
- To inform an adoptee who has reached the teens that the birth mother or father has made contact, and to give the teenager the freedom of choice of meeting with the parent or not.
- To feel sufficiently secure in their relationship with their child not to be threatened by any contact the child makes with the birth family.
- To avoid going through black marketeers to find a child, and to be certain the child's records are not falsified.
- To lobby in their provincial legislature for open records.
ADOPTEES HAVE THE RIGHT
- To know they are adopted.
- To a birth certificate that has not been amended.
- To knowledge of their origins: the name they were given at birth, their ethnic and religious background, the complete medical and social history of their birth families.
- To open and honest communication with their adoptive parents.
- To updated medical and social history on the birth parents and their respective families.
- To legal access to their adoption and birth records.
- To personal contact with each birth parent.
- To live without guilt towards either set of parents when they explore questions about their heritage.
ADOPTEES HAVE THE RESPONSIBILITY
- To treat their adoptive parents as their real parents.
- To help their adoptive parents understand their need to know their heritage.
- To contact their birth parents in a discreet way that will not invade their privacy.
- To be considerate of the birth parents after contact.
- To be considerate of the adoptive parents during their search and reunion period.
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