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Suggestions of things to do, and not to do

• REQUESTING A SEARCH:   If you intend to ask the Post Adoption Registry to do a search for your birthmother, birthfather or adopted child, first get your Original Birth Registration containing the names of your birthmother and birthfather, and get the full adopted name of your child, as there is the possibility a veto may be placed when the other person is contacted, or if the other person says they want contact but does not register after being contacted then a veto is arbitrarly placed on the file.
• NON-IDENTIFYING INFORMATION:   When requesting non-identifying information always specify that you want a photocopy of the original documents. If you don't, the Post Adoption Registry will retype all the information into a nice neat letter form, possibly leaving out important information, clues you may be able to use, and generally rewrite the entire document. They may leave out information the clerk typing may think is irrelevant, maybe to them but it isn't to you. They will flower-up some information as they feel it is not nice and would be unpleasant for you to have. The non-identifying information for an adoptee is one of the most important documents you may receive, and it is in your birthmother's own words, how she describes herself, her family, and her relationship with your birthfather. It may be the closest contact you will ever get, and you do not want someone else altering it. They will possibly tell you that it will be messy as there will be a lot of blanks (whiteout) in the letter, information they are not allowed to give, but I think it is better to get a messy, original than to received a retyped, edited copy.

• VETOES:   If you have placed a veto on your file to prevent contact, but at a later date decide that you have changed your mind, make sure you contact the Post Adoption Registry and have the veto removed. Only you can remove the veto. It will remain on your file until you are 101 years old, or until you have been deceased for one year. Someone may be trying to contact you but cannot because of the veto, and you will not be contacted to find out if you still want it on your file.
• POSTING TO WEBSITES:   If you post to an adoption website do not give all your non-identifying information. Only give the minimum, such as your given names, birthdate, where born, and possibly a bit about your birthmother, age, number of siblings. If you give too much information someone other than the person for whom you are searching, and it has happened, can use that information and be an imposter. If they have all the answers about your birthfamily they can do a lot of damage. Always keep back enough information that only the right person will know and be able to give you the correct answers.

• REGISTERING:   Make sure you are registered with the Post Adoption Registry. If you have registered, double check to make sure. We are receiving reports that some people find they are not registered when they thought they were. Even though you may have had contact with a C&FS office, it doesn't mean they have registered you.

• WRITING LETTERS:   If you are asked to write a non-identifying letter to be given to the other party, unless you don't want them to know who you are, do not do it. If you definitely want contact, write them a letter including all identifying information such as your full name, address, telephone number, picture, etc. and seal the letter, addressing it to the other party, using what information you have, i.e. To My Birthmother from Your Daughter/Son born(date), or To My Daughter/Son born (birthname and date). Otherwise, the most important and personal letter you will write in your life, will be photocopied and a copy placed on your file for others to read. The only time your sealed letter will be opened by Registry staff is in the event the other party does not want any contact, but does want some information. Unless they register, it is unlawful to disclose identifying information to them. In this case, your letter will be opened and the other party will be read, or given the non-identifying information from the letter. If the other party wants contact and registers, your unopened letter containing identifying information will be given to that party. This will speed up the reunion by possibly weeks. We have been given a copy of the instructions that sealed letters are not to be opened, unless it is authorized by the person receiving the letter. The only time a non-identifying, unsealed letter is required is when the other party has been contacted but has not registered. If the other party has already registered when you did, or registers later, then a sealed identifying letter will be accepted for delivery

• ENSURING YOU ARE REGISTERED:   From the experience of some of our members, it is a good idea to contact C&FS at least every 6 months, to ensure that you are still registered, and that the person or persons you are trying to contact have registered or not. For whatever reasons, some matches are not made for months or years after both parties have registered.

• REQUESTING CONTACT:   When registering with the Post Adoption Registry be sure and specify that you wish contact with all biological family. If you do not specify all, other biological relatives may register, also not specifying all in their registration, and the Registry may not match you.

• ENSURE LETTERS ON FILE:  If you have placed letters in a file to be delivered to the other party when they register, make sure the letters are still on file. We have found that some have been lost or discarded over the years.

• PLACING ADS:  If you are placing an ad in a newspaper searching for a biological relative, do not show the Post Adoption Registry as the contact. We have information in our files which we feel is the person for whom someone is searching, but the Registry will not tell us who put the ad in the newspaper, and as a result we may have a match, but cannot locate the other person to verify our information.
• USE OF MAILBOXES:   Also, when placing an ad in a newspaper, i.e. Winnipeg Free Press, do not use a Free Press Box number as the contact. These box numbers are only kept on record for about a month, and if someone does know some information, but does not contact the newspaper for a couple of months or more, chances are the box number has been given to someone else, and they cannot tell you who had that number when the ad was placed. Use a friends address, your own, or LINKS will let you use our address so that months later, if someone comes forward with information, the contact address is still valid.

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